In the original Mario Bros., everything went smoothly. The brothers teamed up to mash monsters, and all was well. Mario went on his separate Donkey Kong adventures because the love of his life, the Princess—I will assume Peach, though this has been debated—was kidnapped, and it was his mission to retrieve her.

Someday the whole story will be written. But sometimes pictures do say more than words.

It was meant only to remind me of the meat and bean fiesta awaiting me in the company fridge, but a well-meaning coworker’s note—which reads “Take Chili Home!”—has also inspired me with an idea for the next Ben Stiller movie, which capitalizes on his earlier comedic expertise in the arena of man vs animal.

Sometimes an impromptu trip through a portion of the Blue Ridge Parkway on an overcast day is the perfect thing.

I live in the south, and I think hockey is the most exciting sport you can watch. I heavily promoted the Olympic USA/Canada matches to all my friends, and gladly the games did not disappoint. However, I think there are a few obvious reasons why people normally don’t give hockey a fair chance.

There we were, all seven of us, discussing the salient points of G. K. Chesterton’s The Everlasting Man—the distinctions between mythology and philosophy, or the motivation of a soldier during war, or how strange the life of Christ must have appeared to an outside observer.

The following screenshots prove that I am awesomeness. You’ll have to trust me on that one. Bonus factoid: I didn’t use Reverse against the heavies.

You may remember that during a recent foot-ball match on television Denny’s advertised free food if you showed up at one of their locations the following Tuesday. A few friends and I took them up on this fine offer but assumed a perfunctory wait in line was all but certain.

I have gradually realized that the act of high fiving depends heavily on the use of proper angles. If you initiate a high five, be sure to angle your hand such that the reactor is not forced to arch his wrist uncomfortably in order to avoid the undesirable scenario of an E.T.-like finger touch.

So the time has come to get the résumé in order and prepare for what will surely be a move to someplace random. The prospects are exciting, but in light of recent undertakings I may find myself far from those I care about most.