Bradezone

Reception. Observation. Perception. Emotion.

Is That Rain?

So Apple has put out a few dumb celebrity ads for the Siri thing on iPhone, and I would like to point out their absurdities. Disclosure: I own an iPhone 4 and a MacBook Pro, so I am not motivated by jealousy of the company or their products. It’s just that Apple seems hellbent on using their commercials to irritate me. Let’s break down each directive given to Siri by our famous friends, starting with Zooey Deschanel.

  1. “Is that rain?” Yes, as you clearly saw when you walked three steps toward your window, weirdo.
  2. “Let’s get tomato soup delivered.” Really, tomato soup? Who delivers that? Doesn’t everyone have like eight cans in the cupboard?
  3. “Remind me to clean up.” Right, because it’s not like it will be apparent every time you walk into the room that it still needs cleaning.
  4. “Play Shake, Rattle, and Roll.” I might let this pass, but I’m still not convinced people our age willingly spend much time listening to old-timey music.

Now let’s see what Samuel L. Jackson is up to.

  1. “Cancel golf today.” How about simply not going? Problem solved.
  2. “Find me a store that sells organic mushrooms for my risotto.” First off, I had to look up risotto—this is not the last time I will need to consult the dictionary during the ad. Secondly, I’m guessing any organic grocery store will suffice, and I’m further guessing you already know their whereabouts.
  3. “How many ounces in a cup?” A Google image search for “measuring cup” indicates nearly all of them—including yours probably—have this info handily printed on the side. The answer is 8.
  4. “Remind me in an hour to put the gazpacho on ice.” Okay, another weird food I had to look up, and this one looks pretty gross. Cold soup? Believe me, it will probably taste better if you forget about the ice.

Bottom line: these ads further demonstrate to me just how “useful” Siri can be. And don’t even get me started with Rock God.

Posted on in Bread

20 Comments

  1. My one disagreement, if only a small one, is in regards to your old-timey music argument. In all other respects, I give a mighty “AMEN” to your post.

  2. Fair point. Perhaps instead I should have contrasted the amorous lyrics of the song with the fact that she was home alone =(

  3. Or, speculate why Zooey Deschanel was dancing and singing to said music without a ukulele in her hands.

  4. The point is going way over your head. It doesn’t matter what they ask..the point is that it is useful in situations where you need extra help and no one around to give it to you. Yes they both asked weird questions but that’s just becouse they are abnormal and more cultural people. TaTa, have to go feed my cats now

  5. I agree, even if they are asking painfully obvious questions, there still just tring to advertise the app. Lol feed you cats

  6. Also, really? You had to look up risotto? It’s a comman dish.

  7. Unfortunately I am not that familiar with “comman” cuisine. Is that where you’re from?

  8. I agree with Josie- this can only mean you’ve never seen a single episode of Hell’s Kitchen.

  9. Also, “zing” (sorry, Josie, I’m sure you’re a nice person).

  10. It makes me sick to my stomach that you call youself a philosopher when all your doing is being judgemental. A REAL philospher judges thing by accuratcy and not by stupid pet peves that they have.

  11. Those commersals get on my nevous too. As if they actually would ask siri that stuff. Siri is just another movement of american laziness

  12. Eli/Joseph/Kathrine (or whatever other identity you assume from that IP address in Columbus, OH), I tried to be fair and reasonable in my post. But I will agree that my issues with those ads could be considered “pet peeves.”

  13. Agreed, the commercials are stupid. I can here the Mac fans now saying…. “Aww Zooey is soooooo cute”

    Katherine it really makes you sick? Not fooling anyone here …. It doesn’t.

    Davey McNight
  14. you’re pretty much correct. Siri isn’t a person. I’m not going to talk to siri like she’s an actual SHE. 2 people like this. Douche bags who want to be seen using apple products, and really really lonely people.

    I died laughing at the Rock God commercial :)

    Derrick
  15. I think you would enjoy this –> isthatrain.com

    Ms. Jenn
  16. Ms. Jenn, that is phenomenal.

  17. Ms. Jenn that is perfect. Eli and Katherine…. why you mad bra?

    Davey McNight
  18. Okay, so a few people have asked me about the new John Malkovich ads, and my answer is that they are fantastic. Clearly John is approaching Siri in a far goofier, more playful manner, which is as it should be. A truly quirky guy selling a truly quirky product: that’s a match that makes sense.

  19. Haha, this was great. Had me rolling. Was in bed and was laughing so hard my wife had to read the rest to me. Bravo!

    bradasstv
  20. I think that the commercials seem pretty far-fetched, and though I do enjoy Apple products, Siri is just annoying, and barely works half the time- I just turn it off. I like the Samuel L Jackson one- I think it’s cute. The Zooey one is too much fun to make fun of.

    Dany

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